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SIMPLE + TRUE

by Grace Theisen

Simple + True EP available now on iTunes and Spotify.

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A few days ago I went to my first hot yoga class back at @intentionalyoga in Kalamazoo since my second back surgery. (LAST MARCH.) - I walked in a bundle of nerves because on the drive there I was SO nauseous from detoxing pain meds (mornings are always the worst) and I was in a lot of pain from waking up early. (Aka 10 am.... yep. I know. Welcome to detox world. Where your life is turned upside down and wake up time is like 2pm and 14 hours of sleep is normal.) - I have been seeing this AMAZING Pain psychologist in Nashville, Dr. Batson (I found her off @curablehealth podcast and for all my chronic pain friends... YOU NEED TO GO SEE HER. She has changed my LIFE in how I relate to Pain) and we have been working on practicing life with an attitude of “outcome independence.” Meaning I, Grace Theisen, am independent of whatever the outcome is. Whether I try something and fail, or pain shows up, or I get tired and need to stop... that doesn’t define me. What defines me is that I TRIED and I am still ME despite the outcome. - This might seem easy but for a high achiever who has had chronic pain for 6 years... this is like pulling teeth in my mind. I want to be the BEST at it and PROVE to everyone I can do it... yadda yadda yadda. But with pain-the more I can be independent of the outcome the less attached I learn to be if pain shows up. Instead of “AHH YOU RUINED MY DAY” and stop the activity.. it’s a “Oh hi pain. I know you think I can’t do this but I can so I am just going to keep going despite you.” - So I went into the yoga practice with that being my only goal-no matter what happens I am STILL Grace. I showed up, got out of bed and MADE it to the mat. Nothing else matters. And you know what? For the first time EVER-I made it through the WHOLE class without judgement for myself or others. Sure I laid down at times and didn’t do all the flows but to me-I showed up and STAYED despite pain being or not being there. I led with grace for myself and my body. I wasn’t attached to the outcome and that made all the difference.❤️ How much kinder to ourselves would we be if we led with outcome independence? - Photo by the amazing @ashtinpaige
True or false.... my boxing coach had to style this photo for me because even after 4 months of training together... I STILL CANT GET MY DANG HANDS IN THE RIGHT START POSITION WITH BOXING. - TRUE. 🙈 - Ok real talk.... If you know me at all then you know that I LIVE in yoga pants or spandex, tall @adidaswomen socks and some kind of crop top. Like if I ever go out wearing jeans and a t-shirt people say, “Wow you look so nice!” 🙈 I have been that way my whole life. I have too many clothes (which I am working on getting rid of and jumping on the capsule wardrobe train because I have been very convicted by how much STUFF I have and never use... but more on that later) and I only wear the same things over and over. My mom legit comments on how much she wants to throw away my favorite red cut-off Rutgers t-shirt because I wore it everyday post second back surgery for like 5 months. - I am a simple girl when it comes to clothes. I choose COMFORT OVER STYLE. Growing up I rode horses all day everyday and would still choose to ride in tank tops and athletic shorts versus jeans because I just don’t think jeans are comfortable. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Senior year of high school I wore sweatpants every. single. day. No joke. - ANYWAYS.... all that to say since I live in yoga pants I am VERY picky about how they fit, feel on me and the quality of them. I will spend more on yoga pants then anything else because I wear them so much and @targetstyle just don’t last. I got this pair sent to me from @thefitactivewear and told them I would do an honest review because of how picky I am. - Whelp. After two times of wearing them.... they are my new staple!!!! I wear a size medium and they are soft, breathable and flexible... which is a must because again... I WANT TO BE COMFORTABLE WHEN I WORKOUT. Plus their price point is ACTUALLY AFFORDABLE and they are as quality as my @lululemon ones. - I give you a 5/5 @thefitactivewear!!!! Plus they are local to Nashville and I am all about supporting local businesses who make yoga pants equally as comfortable as major brands like @lululemon. That’s not easy to do. ❤️
JUST A BUNCH OF TEARS AND SMILES AND DANCING ARE BUTTS OFF LAST NIGHT. TAYLOR NEVER DISAPPOINTS. - When you have thousands of people singing ONE song and thousands of reasons that it means something to that person... I just. WOW. I can’t get over how many times I had goosebumps from not just being thankful to be alive but for how TRANSFORMATIVE music is. ILL NEVER GET OVER IT. ILL NEVER GET OVER THIS TOWN. ❤️
YOU GUYS. Today was the first day since this past fall that I woke up feeling like myself and EXCITED about life. I’ve been on heavy pain medication for over a year and a half and as of this today, I am finally down to half of what I was taking. I can FEEL the layers of numbness and anxiety melting off and my personality is staring to come back through. It feels SO GOOD and I am just SO DANG THANKFUL to be alive. I know this sounds so cliche but seriously.... DONT TAKE LIFE FOR GRANTED. I feel like I am seeing life all over again with new eyes and it’s FREAKING AMAZING. It’s such a GIFT even when it’s hard. - The day started with a photoshoot with @graciemoakler which ended up consisting of us gallavanting around town eating all the things and talking about the intensity of running your own company and marriage and real life. Then I spent the rest of the day/night writing a kick ass song with the BEST producer/bff which came off a conversation about what it’s like to choose to live life sober when we would rather numb or check out... all of this is just to say... LIFE CAN KNOCK YOU DOWN SO HARD AND YOU MIGHT THINK YOU MAY NEVER GET BACK UP BUT YOU WILL TIME AND TIME AGAIN AND IT WILL BE HARD AND MESSY AND BEAUTIFUL AND SO WORTH IT ALL. - So if you are in a REAALLY hard season-this post is for you. Take heart. I get it. I’m still there. I have NO idea what I am doing with my life or where I should live or what my purpose is but today? Today was a really good day. I know there’s a lot of talk about choosing joy but when you get to actually FEEL it-it’s just WOW. I won’t ever take that feeling for granted again. So like my soul sister Amy says: The dawn will always break. Just keep hoping and praying because I promise it WILL break. ❤️
WHY I WROTE A BLOG ABOUT SUICIDE. - The AA motto of “one day at a time” has never felt more real than in this season. When my counselor told me detoxing from pain meds was no joke... I only half believed her. I kept thinking, “yeah yeah I’ve been through two major surgeries I will be fine.” And yet here we are two months in and I count the good days as only thinking about dying a few times a day versus every hour. - I don’t write that to sound dramatic... it’s just the only way to sum up the unending pain, nausea, anxiety, depression, body chills, nervousness, and sadness that the lack of drugs are doing to my mind and body. I sat in my psychiatrist’s office today hunched over starring at the floor with tears streaming down my face thinking that I finally get why you would become an addict. This shit is SO. HARD. It feels like every waking moment is a battle to get to the next moment. - All that to say... I wrote a blog about all of this along with suicidal thinking and mental illness for @soulscripts. Link is in bio. Why? Because no one wants to admit they have these feelings (ESPECIALLY within the church) and yet, it’s more common than not. I will never be one to sweep under the rug the hard issues just for the sake of making people feel comfortable. CHURCH is where we should ALL feel the safest to expose our uncomfortable... but that’s not always the experience. Did you know Jesus said “I FEEL BAD ENOUGH THAT I WANT TO DIE” (paraphrased) right before He was crucified? Yeah. He had these thoughts too. So we should absolutely be talking about them. - I choose to be transparent with my social media because I figure if my honestly through this journey of chronic pain, mental illness... etc can just make ONE person out there feel like they are not alone... it’s all worth it to me. It makes walking through hell a little easier. It gives me purpose and pushes me to find Light in the darkness. So thank YOU for reading. I don’t take it lightly. - Here’s to a day ending with a beautiful esthetic and an açaí bowl. Sometimes the little things can make all the difference. ❤️
When your niece wants to follow in your footsteps... you say BUCKLE UP COWGIRL. It is going to be one wild ride. She even has her Auntie’s “serious riding” face down. 🙈 - For the record... my dad wouldn’t let me start riding until I was 10. She is 3. The grandkids ALWAYS get the better deal. ;) #futureccrider
When the sweetest friend sends you your own (gorgeous) fanny pack so you can do horse show season in style. 😍 LOVE YOU SO MUCH CHRISSY!!! I am OBSESSED. - I didn’t think I would be about this new fanny pack trend until yesterday at the fair I asked so many of my girls and their parents “Where are my keys? Anyone seen my water? Anyone seen the clippers I brought?” That’s when someone said: “You need a fanny pack!!!” And of COURSE this angel had just gifted me one. (Also just excuse the bathroom pics. My family doesn’t believe in body length mirrors and I kind of love it.) - Ladies if you want the CUTEST most fashionable western accessories... go check out the lovely Chrissy Ballard’s store. She SLAYS at transforming boots that people like @mirandalambert wear on stage! Plus she is just the sweetest Texan angel that’s ever walked the earth and has an actual heart of gold. She has welcomed me with open arms since moving to Nashville, supported my dreams and shared margaritas and guaca as I have outwardly processed the challenges of chronic pain, boys and well... just being a girl in my middle twenties. I couldn’t be more thankful for you, C. - @frankieballard YOU CHOSE A GEMSTONE OF A WIFE. - #oldsmokeysboots #chrissyballard #fannypacks #frankieballard #westernwear #vintage
Last night was one of those “STOP EVERYTHING AND RUN TO THE DOCK TO SEE THE SKY ON FIRE” kind of nights. - Isn’t it funny how you can grow up somewhere and get so familiar with what’s around you that indescribable beauty becomes mundane and taken for granted? - In this season of rest, slowing down and moving back home I’ve become astonished at how HARD it is for my brain and body to just BE. Life goes by so quickly and then all of a sudden we are forced to slow down just to realize how much of life we have lived with blinders on? Why does it take something tragic to wake us up? What do people start “living like they are dying” when they are actually faced with death? - I’ve been thinking a lot about this. Mainly because in a season where I am supposed to be “resting” it’s all I can do to actually sit my butt down to read a book, write or be silent. Everything inside of me wants to GO, DO and CREATE. And yet, when this season is over and I actually have to start “doing” again all I will think about is how much time I wasted in my “resting season” by not actually resting. Life is all about the hindsight 20/20 am I right? - We want what we can’t have. We wish we were somewhere else. We wish that relationship didn’t end. We wish we had those persons skills or looks or personality. - I was just texting a friend this morning about how anxious I have been when no one is around and I have nothing to do. I told her I feel purposeless and sad. You know what she said? “You are doing something! Day by day you are filling up your tank!” - None of what I am saying is rocket science. Everyone knows we should be thankful more, say ‘I love you’ more, soak in the little moments more, ask for forgiveness more. And yet? WE DON’T. We wait until life turns us upside down and inside out to start truly living. - We can wait as long as we want to start putting into practice those things we “wish” we did but the reality is life doesn’t wait for us. It keeps on being beautiful and painful and messy and glorious and colorful no matter if we soak it in or not. But what we do soak in shapes us as we only have so much room in our hearts. And what goes in must come out. ❤️
A little update for you all who have followed along with my pain journey or have donated to the campaign! You can find the rest of the video & campaign link via the link in my bio! - We still have $3,500 more to go!!!! Any little bit counts. Cannot thank you all ENOUGH for how much you have celebrated, encouraged, or prayed for me. I have only made it this far because of you all. - I feel VERY excited about this next season and talk about why in the video along with a new treatment program that is changing my life and pain. Anyone who has chronic pain-would highly recommend watching!! Shoutout to @jihaverda @jilianlinklater @codyhutchgbgh @hollynic15 @heyrobertlucas for making this all happen! ❤️ G

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Finding beauty in pain, through creating art, in pursuit of redemption. 

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