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SIMPLE + TRUE

by Grace Theisen

Simple + True EP available now on iTunes and Spotify.

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Dear 2018 Grace, Sweet child. You will make it through these dark nights. The suicidal thoughts. The never ending anxiety. The cloud of depression that never leaves. The detox of heavy pain meds. I know it feels like your life is ending but I promise there is ALWAYS a silver lining. To every story-no matter how dark or hard the days seem in the moment. - You see, my love, you will get a call from a dear friend and you will go to Hawaii on a whim and meet a wonderful girl and she will tell you about this magical place called @shakacostarica and that you should apply to work there. You will then pick up surfing and decide on a whim to apply for the job and get it. You will pack up your suitcase, your anxiety and your fears and travel across the world to live in the jungle for the next 6 months. - It is there you will learn to L I V E again. You will go from barely being able to carry a surf board to surfing for hours at a time. You will slowly see your body transform and be able to withhold doing hours of activity a day versus laying in bed watching Netflix. You will no longer wake up to anxiety and depression knocking at your door but instead to howler monkeys and birds chirping. You will walk around BAREFOOT. Yes BAREFOOT (crazy coming from a girl who slept in socks 365 days of the year for her entire LIFE) and your hair will grow long and unruly and makeup will never be touched and you will choose comfort over style and embrace sweaty-ness over cleanliness. - You will learn that the ONLY thing in life that makes you come alive like nothing else is the act of giving yourself to others-in conversation, in serving dinners, in doing dishes and in playing music-and you will realize this whole time you’ve being doing life backwards. You have been DOING before BEING. Growing before being grounded. You will see that life really is THAT simple and Love really IS the only thing holding all of our broken, weary souls together. You will fall back in love with yourself again and not even care about all the silly flaws and mistakes you have made anymore. - So my love, I urge you to keep going. Put one weary step in front of the next. I promise, it will all be worth it. ❤️
Three months ago, I came to Costa Rica with two carry ons, a broken and fragile heart, an anxious mind, a body wrecked in pain and nausea from almost two years of Percocet and Oxycotin and in utter need for drastic change. When I was about to leave Michigan, my mom said to me: “My only prayer for you is that you go and find the confident and courageous warrior I have always known you to be.” And of course I sobbed because I knew with every bone in my body... she was right. I lost myself, my confidence and a lot of relationships in 2018. I knew I needed drastic change of scenery, of people, of a job and lifestyle to pull me out of my quickly sinking ship. - I’ll be totally honest... I was scared shitless to live in another country, much-less the LITERAL jungle where the closest hospital is 6 hours away and REAL LIVING SCORPIONS AND MASSIVE SPIDERS co-exist in your living spaces. I hadn’t shared a room since sophomore year of COLLEGE and am the most anxious traveler known to man. (Just ask @matthewbienz and all the millions questions I asked him before coming about every worst case scenario that could happen.. 🤦🏻‍♀️) But my biggest fear? I would not be able to do this job because of chronic pain. I hadn’t WORKED since April and was terrified of my body’s ability to cooperate or be on a schedule. - But you know what I have learned over the last three months? Place any broken human in an environment soaked with life, love, ENERGY, nature, light, grace, community and compassion and watch them grow. I came into this with zero expectations for myself and this experience and decided to just let NATURE run its course... maybe for the first time in my life. And I can whole-heartedly say, I am changed. From the inside out. My hardened heart has slowly softened and expanded without my forcing it one way or the other or trying to believe “this or that.” I let go of other people’s expectations about what my life “should” look like at this stage and decided to just spend my time here EXISTING. And boy, let me tell you, the moment we let GO is the very moment we BECOME. And what greater gift is there than that. ❤️
You are 100% correct. I am NOT a dog person... but over the last 2.5 months this ten year-old lady has stolen my heart. I swear she is a cat in a dog’s body (which is probably why I like her 😂) and is SO picky about who she likes and doesn’t like. She puts herself to bed most nights when she is over people and most the day, lays in the rancho not wanting to be bothered. - When I first got to Shaka, @matthewbienz was Vida’s number one and I honestly could have cared less about connecting her... mainly because she could have cared less about me. The feeling was mutual. 🙈 But once Matt left and I had to start feeding and taking care of her... we slowly started to bond. Now she rarely leaves my side. Anytime I play guitar, she finds me and lays down at my feet. She has even started to follow me to yoga and will come interrupt the entire class just to sit near me by my mat. 😭 - This angel has become my new roommate, my confident, and my counselor. When I have bad pain days, it’s like she KNOWS and will always come find me and nuzzle her face in my lap. When my sister came to visit, she saw our bond and even started praying every day that Vida would always have a “puppies heart” and be full of life and love for the rest of her life. - I have learned so MUCH from this old soul... she has taught me how to quickly bounce back after hard days and her pure excitement about life, food and the ocean never go unnoticed. I told Mike when I was giving her a bath the other day, “I love how the non-dog person is now somehow now in charge of taking care of the dog.” I still am not a dog person (I legit throw sand at any dog that tries to pick on Vida at the beach...) but I am now 100% a VIDA person. - Vida-bear. You have completely stolen my heart. You will forever be SUCH a huge part of my Shaka experience and I am so dang thankful for your puppy soul. - Here are some photos the amazing @laurieandcharles snapped during one of our afternoon beach swims. 🤗
These last few weeks have been a WHIRLWIND and probably some of the most transformative weeks of my stay. - Before coming to @shakacostarica, I never woke up earlier than 1 P.M., I had to force myself to workout (or really even get out of bed), and I hadn’t picked up my guitar in months. I was a shell of a human so burnt out on life, my job, moving, relationships and detoxing off pain meds. - Over the last few weeks, I got talked into a “dawn patrol” surf thanks to @nikolaricola (“just try it once and if you hate it we never have to do it again...”) and fell in LOVE. I thought I loved surfing before but surfing as the sun rises... when no one else is in the ocean is just UNREAL. Not to mention I have been doing yoga almost daily (thanks to the amazing @surfsoul.retreats) and while I still have bad pain days... it is NOTHING compared to before coming here. - This morning’s dawn patrol crew was probably one of my most favorite surfs I have had yet mainly because I FINALLY caught my own GOOD damn wave out the back and rode it all the way in 🤗 and @_sophiejamesw and I wore matching rash guards because #duh. - But the biggest change for me here hasn’t been the surfing or how my body is (almost) use to waking up at 6 A.M. everyday 🤦🏻‍♀️ or being able to do so much physical activity... it’s the fact that I came to Costa Rica with zero intention of doing music... but slowly and surely @matthewbienz and Mike pulled me out of my shell by asking me to play a song JUST for them... and then JUST for our guests... then JUST for yoga and then JUST at the brewery... and soon enough... I was playing out again without fear or perfectionism leading the way. I have felt my heart LITERALLY come back to life again in a way that has been missing for over a year. I re-fell back in love with the THING that even got me to @songsagainstslavery. - So thank YOU @shakacostarica and guests for believing in me and encouraging me in my craft and giving me back the thing that makes my heart SOAR like nothing else. Not to mention meeting/playing with @suzinaomi suzinaomi has been the cherry on top of it all. - PS: MY SISTER CAME TO SHAKA OVER CHRISTMAS AND SURFED TOO!!!! 🤗
2018 was a year I will never forget. It carried a lot of heaviness, grief, pain, anxiety and depression. Friendships were put through the wringer and relationships ended. My nonprofit went through some massive changes that brought a lot of heartbreak and tears. I struggled with suicidal thoughts and had days where I never left my bed because the pain and mental anguish were debilitating. I moved home from Nashville, a city that I love more than anything else in this world, to wean off almost two years worth of Oxytocin and Percocet and to be totally honest... I barely remember the months following because I became a shell of a human. I thought 2017 was the hardest year I had ever endured going through my second back surgery but 2018 almost took the wind out of my sails. I fumbled with my faith, with God and gave on praying because I didn’t see the point anymore. I stopped playing music because I had zero energy to do anything other than exist. - But then I found grace through a trip to Hawaii that led me to Costa Rica and here I sit in a hammock writing this out with tears streaming down my face. Because for as HARD and as SHITTY as this year was... it ended in a place that brought me back to life. Literally. A place where the jungle and ocean give off so much LIFE and LIGHT to you every single day and allow for TRUE inner healing to happen. I was introduced to surfing and it saved my soul and slowly has re-built my confidence back up to show me that I CAN move across the world and do a totally new job, make new friends and not just exist but THRIVE. I CAN play music again and fall back in love with the reasons why I even started playing. I CAN handle my chronic pain and not let it stop me from living a joy-filled life saturated in love. I CAN do relationships well and keep my heart and hands open to whatever life has to offer me next. But most importantly, I CAN do all of these things and feel deeply about people and relationships because I now KNOW the depths of pain and suffering. And I truly believe you can only feel LOVE as deeply as you allow yourself to feel pain... because they both come from the same place: your heart. - ...continued in comments.
THIS CHRISTMAS I AM MOST EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW @saltybirdsurf RASHGAURD + MATCHING @torqsurfboards AND LEASH. 🤗 (And YES I do surf this board this time out the back... thanks to @nikolaricola and his amazing instructor skills.) - But in all honesty I am SO thankful for this job, my boss and his AMAZING brother who got me the SWEETEST gifts and cards which had me crying all day and the fact that my sister CAME to @shakacostarica to be with me for Christmas. Three months ago I never imagined this would be my life and now I can’t imagine being anywhere else in the world. Surfing and Shaka have CHANGED me and I am SO GLAD i still have a month and a half left with this place. - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. 🤗
Two months ago... we were complete strangers. And today in the kitchen, your brother looked and me and said: “I feel like I have known you for 5 years... like you’ve always been a part of Shaka.” And that is EXACTLY how I feel about you (both) and this place. - From our initial 2.5 hour long conversation during the interview process, I just KNEW I would end up at here and as your roommate. (Also SO GLAD I now know your gay... LOL #bestroomieever) - Then you picked me up at the Shack in Tambour and came bounding out of Donna, with the world’s greatest hair, walking barefoot on a mission and gave me the biggest hug and I knew in that moment I had made the best decision to come here. (Not to mention I don’t think either one of us has stopped talking to each other since that first car ride...🙈) - Our shared tears started day one with reading past guest experiences at Shaka and they never stopped. I am so insanely blessed that this unprecedented and unexpected friendship turned family and that I have a forever brother. I’ve never felt so LOVED or welcomed in my entire life by someone but it didn’t just stop there... you have constantly challenged me to dig deeper, fight harder, and show up more wholehearted both with thus job, pain and in LIFE. I am not the same human I was 2 months ago...I have never felt more myself in my LIFE than I have when I am at this place and that is MAJORLY because of you. - I may never stop crying over the fact that you are now gone and that Shaka (or my room) will not be the same without you. But I will always hold an open heart space for you in my life. GET PUMPED for nonstop play by play messages this next month and a half... you will always be my forever roommate and number one Shaka processor. ;) - I love you SO EFFING much. And SO DO SO MANY OTHERS.. as you will soon read. 🤗 Thank you for changing my life, truly. I will always write you a song any day... any time. You are ALL this world needs now. Now go fly from the nest if Shaka, babe. Your time here is over and now...This is YOUR time. ❤️
I have been asked a lot recently about my Instagram and pain and to be totally honest... I actually really hate social media. But I told myself a few years ago... if I am going to use it then I need to be transparent on here so it isn’t an effing highlight reel for others to compare their lives too. Because I HATE comparison and I think we (myself majorly included) let it steal our joy way more than we should. - While this last month and a half have been COMPLETELY life-changing and I am SO GLAD I made the decision to move to Costa Rica for 3 months... it has been extremely challenging for me both physically, mentally and emotionally. I got off pain meds ONE WEEK before coming and was an absolute train wreck with pain, anxiety and depression in the weeks leading up to this trip. I had NO IDEA how I was going to live without them and to be totally honest... I still have had to take some while being here. - Today I sat on the kitchen floor crying because I got so overwhelmed by pain and exhaustion of trying to “figure out” what helps, what doesn’t, what makes it worse... etc. I have no IDEA what parts of my pain are mental, what are real, what is from the surgeries... and the more I try to figure it out the more frustrated I get because it just doesn’t make sense most days. - I HATE identifying with pain and while it has been such a beautiful and raw part of my story-that has led me to meet my bestest friends-I still don’t always know how to talk about it without giving it too much or too little power in my life. - I HATE how I can have an amazing day of surfing, running and yoga and then have to pay for it hours or days later. It makes me want to pull my hair out because I feel so dang powerless to it... like “do I live my life and try to feed my soul? Or do I live cautiously so pain doesn’t get bad?” 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ - ALL of this to say... I am learning it’s OK to have shit days. No one has anything figured out and if you are in the midst of the struggle... KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I do intentionally work HARD to CHOOSE JOY despite pain... but I ALSO HAVE EFFING SHIT DAYS TOO. It’s a constant DAILY battle. And you know what we call that? REAL LIFE. ❤️
“Nobody puts baby in a corner.” - 📷: @matthewbienz 🧜🏾‍♀️: @albionfit 🏄🏻‍♀️: @torqsurfboards - PS: Don’t be fooled... I do NOT surf this small of a board. It’s sole purpose was this photo op... DUH. - PSS: I am OBSESSED with this one piece suit... it’s the only one piece I have ever owned because having a long waist makes long pieces hard and it was VERY surf friendly. 🤗 Thank you @jessgee For introducing me to this brand! They are high quality, so comfortable and last FOREVER. - PSSS: When your roomie drives you home on the quad late at night and your singing “I’ve Had The Time of My Life” loud and proud to all the cows you pass and then realize he has NEVER SEEN Dirty Dancing. THAT IS AN ACTUAL SIN, MATTHEWSSS. UGH.

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Finding beauty in pain, through creating art, in pursuit of redemption. 

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