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SIMPLE + TRUE

by Grace Theisen

Simple + True EP available now on iTunes and Spotify.

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Let me just repeat... I LITERALLY FOUND HEAVEN ON EARTH TODAY. Yes it took 3 hours to trek to on horse, through rivers and bogs with zero consent forms... but that’s jungle living ya?!? - We had the kindest guide, Douglas, who BLESS HIS HEART literally got off his horse at one point, whipped out his machete and chopped down some passion fruit for us to try... led us tried and true to the MOST EPIC SUNSET I HAVE EVER SEEN on a private beach all while lightning and thunder followed us. The ride ended with pitch black night riding through bogs with me being the only one who had ever ridden a horse before. 😂Would this ride have ever been allowed in the U.S?! NOPE. And that’s why I am learning the jungle never shows and tells. ;) JUST FOUND MY NEXT DREAM JOB. MOST EPIC SUNSET OF MY LIFE. And YES he let me “gallop” on the beach. 🤗 - WILL NEVER GET OVER TODAY. And will be dreaming about this ride for a long time. STOKED I get to go back again for the next two months with more guests. Watch out Douglas... I’m coming for your job. - #cowboydouglas #wheresdouglas #justfollowthehat
Hello. I am your new @shakacostarica social host. I am prone to deep conversations, talking matters of the heart within five minutes of knowing you, dancing, singing and laughing at how bad my Spanish still is even after 12 years of taking it in school. 🙈 But that won’t stop me from trying to speak it! (Praise hands for Google translator and kind, patient locals.) - I WILL pour myself into this new role over the next few months and do my best to serve our guests to my fullest potential. PLUS I LOVE washing dishes and am OCD about cleaning so... it’s a win win for everyone right?! ;) I came into this SO nervous about travel, being away from comfort, my people... etc but so far this entire experience has exceeded my expectations ten fold. Mike (the owner) and Matt (my partner in crime/fellow social host) are INSANELY talented (and INSANELY hard working) at creating a space for people to come and let their walls down. Within 24 hours of staying here... I cried at how PEACEFUL this place is and how intentional and kind everyone is. Not to mention when Matt was reading to me prior guests reviews on Trip Advisor, I just started crying hearing what they wrote because everything about their words were SPOT ON and I have only been here for four days. This place is literal HOLY GROUND for true inner and outer healing, rest, relaxation, lots of laughter and a chance to make an entirely new family. - EHHHHHH. Not sure I will ever leave. I have been officially sucked into Shaka’s VORTEX of LOVE and don’t think I will ever come out. 🙈 But if/when I do... I know I will be a changed human... more compassionate, more light hearted and more whole. It’s apparently the secret ingredients in the water we are drinking. 🤗 - But REALLY GUYS. Everything about this place is literal heaven on earth. Worth every penny and all the travel. After day one of surfing with the guests today... I couldn’t stop smiling at how FAR I have come to get here and just feel so overwhelmed with gratitude to be a part of this place for a bit. - OVER AND OUT. And NO THIS IS NOT A SPONSORED POST. It’s just that good.
When you go to Hawaii on a whim with your BFF and then meet the coolest girl who tells who about how she just traveled the world for 5 months before starting a new job and about this place called Shaka (a surf and yoga retreat in Costa Rica) and that there’s a position opening up to be a social host and that you should apply for it... YOU FIRST THINK of all the reasons why you couldn’t/shouldn’t do that... but then you SURF for the first time and it’s like everything in you comes to LIFE in a way that hasn’t happened in a LONG time. So you apply for the job on a whim. - Hey guys?! I GOT THE JOB. And am on my way to Costa Rica RIGHT NOW to live there for the next few months. I will be working at Shaka and YES. THIS IS BY FAR THE CRAZIEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. But sometimes when you are “stuck” in life, need a reason to get off pain meds, re-set mentally/emotionally and space to heal from this past year of craziness... you say YES to something crazy like this. - This trip is 100% about me facing fears, learning to live with pain again medication free and falling back in love with who I am at my core and with God. I also understand not everyone in life has the opportunity to stop what you are doing and travel across the world for a few months... and I want to be sensitive on my page that me posting about this isn’t about “oh look how cool I am.” In fact the opposite. I have no IDEA what/where I am supposed to do/be next and have some major decisions to make when I get back so for me-this trip is taking some much needed time and space to breath and just BE. If I have learned anything this year it’s that if YOU are not OK... nothing you do or touch will be either. And my focus right now is just to be OK again. - Living overseas been something I have always wanted to do and life has opened up some space and time for me to DO IT NOW. But maybe for you it’s not travel.. maybe it’s just REST. Or reading THAT BOOK. Or taking THAT CLASS. Do what you need to do to be OK again and don’t apologize for it. I promise it will be worth every penny, sacrifice and life will STILL be there when you get back. ❤️ Shaka.. lets DO THE DAMN THING.
On Monday I was driving home and had this pivotal moment where it felt like the clouds just INSTANTLY parted in my brain and I felt... JOY. The feeling was so intense, I just started sobbing and for the first time in a long time it wasn’t a sob of grief-but one of pure thankfulness. I finally felt parts of me start to return... parts that have gotten lost in translation over the years between surgeries, pain meds, pain, anxiety and depression. I felt this DEEP sense of “YOU ARE GOING TO BE OK.” - On Tuesday? I had the exact opposite day. Where anxiety and fear just kept coming and I couldn’t get a handle on my pain. After running errands with my mom, I sobbed the entire way home because I JUST WANTED A DAMN PERCOCET. I WANTED THE PAIN TO STOP. It was the most intense craving I have experienced yet in this detox process and it was terrifying. - Something my counselor and I have been working on is catching myself when I make “all or nothing” statements like, “I will ALWAYS be like this” or “This will NEVER not be hard.” Because I am a TWO on the enneagram and a MAJOR FEELER, my emotions can feel like the TRUTH all the time. On Monday my truth felt like, “I FEEL AMAZING! DETOX IS A PIECE OF CAKE” and Tuesday was “I HAVE FAILED BECAUSE I WANT A PAIN MED AND I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FACE CHRONIC PAIN OR GET OFF MEDS.” - BUT I finally caught myself in that “all or nothing” thinking and when I got home Tuesday evening, I took a bath and let myself cry out my frustration and sadness. And then I spoke up and told my family how badly I wanted a pain med. And you know what we did instead? Watched a movie together while I iced and heated my back and FaceTimed my nieces and family. - And guess what?! I didn’t want the pain med after that. Not because my pain got any better but because in speaking up and asking for help... I realized I am not in this alone. And I learned I can sit with my emotions and honor them without having to be ruled by them. I write all of this to say that the struggle is REAL. It’s hard, messy and I am choosing to share it with the hopes that others can relate and maybe, just maybe, we don’t have to feel so alone or isolated in the really hard seasons. ❤
One of the AMAZING side effects of detox and stopping pain meds is insane insomnia... 🤦🏻‍♀️ Like don’t fall asleep until 7 am even after taking many sleeping medications. I have NEVER had insomnia like this before and let me tell you... IT CAN MAKE A PERSON CRAZY IN THE HEAD. - So of course... my solution? Eating popcorn and binge watching @antmvh1 with @tyrabanks. I started with season 22 and WOW. Can I just say I cried through EVERY EPISODE? - I cried when @nyledimarco walked onto the show-a man born deaf whose smile lit up every room. I cried when Tyra broke previous model barriers and let both tall and short models enter. I cried when Ashley opened up about her story of sexual abuse and why she wanted to win. THIS SEASON JUST WRECKED ME TO MY CORE. - But mainly because of @nyledimarco. See I have always seen chronic pain and my back surgeries as my crutch. My “disability” if you will. I have always seen the limitations it has given me and not the blessings. But every darn episode I was so struck by how NYLE JUST KEPT SHOWING UP by embracing his hearing *disability* and letting it be the THING that drove him to the top. He never once complained about the fact that he can’t hear.. in fact he said if ANYTHING-it’s been the things that has made him actually be able to SEE people-truly understand them-because he has a gift of seeing most hearing people don’t. - It shifted my perspective in how we view the things we think “disable” us. Pain isn’t the problem... my thoughts about pain are the problem. And you know what hit me the most? @nyledimarco said he would never not want to be who he is today. He is so thankful to be deaf. Am I thankful to have pain? Most days HELL NO. - So what if it’s those very things that we think are *disabling* us are truly empowering us to be able to understand others better? Pain has given me more empathy than I thought I could ever have. It’s taught me how to relate on a deeper level with people because I now know EVERYONE is going through something hard. It’s softened my edges and lifted a veil to see true beauty in places I never use to. - So here’s to you, Nyle. Thank you thank you thank you.
I’ve been a little quiet on here this past month because well... it has frankly taken all my energy to focus solely on getting off pain meds and I am proud to say that today is day FIVE with no pain meds... the first time I have been actually sober in over a year and a half. I thought having two back surgeries was hard on top of running a nonprofit... but detox is other worldly. Something I hope I never have to go through again. - l recently stayed with my dear friends @oldsmokeysboots and @frankieballard and something Frankie told me was: “You just have to be sober for TODAY. That’s it. If you think anymore past that you will want to give up.” And it’s honestly the advice that has gotten me to day 5. Even when pain is still crippling and my anxiety is making it hard to do anything other than cry... I just say, “Ok self. We just have to do TODAY.” - Honestly I haven’t considered myself a strong person most my life and this past year stripped my confidence with major job changes, friendship hardships, anxiety, depression and the unloading of 1.5 years worth of emotions coming out that the meds numbed. - GUYS. I GET WHY PEOPLE BECOME ADDICTS. And really... for 1.5 years I was. My body depended on this stuff. I didn’t think I could ever come off the pain meds because I was terrified to live with pain again. It was the first time in 6 years I had a BREAK from chronic and surgery pain and it also made me feel AMAZING. And before that? I drank a lot to just make it through how bad my pain was getting. It scared a lot of people around me and most days I just wanted to say, “I’m done with it all. I’d rather be dead.” - But here I am today.. 5 days sober and feeling all the emotions. I have NO IDEA what I am doing with my life, I’ve moved home with my parents, a lot of relationships have been put through the wringer and I feel so angry most days. At God, the world and at having to have surgeries that who knows if they helped or not. - But you know what? I am seeing that the strongest thing I can do right now is just give myself grace for the process, feel my emotions I have neglected for 1.5 years and let TODAY-the fact that I am living and breathing-be ENOUGH. ❤️
Hawaii... you were UNREAL. Not only did we get to learn how to surf we learned how to SNUBA. It’s basically like scuba diving for beginners. And it was completely terrifying at first but our instructor told us to give it “five minutes” and we would be hooked. To be able to breath under water for 30 minutes 30 feet under the water in the Molokini crater was a truly unforgettable experience. I was SO PROUD of us for not chickening out and for DOING THE DANG THING. - Traveling with this woman was seriously life changing. (And body changing LOL.) She is a complete energizer bunny and would daily wake up at 5 am to literally chase the sunset and run 8 miles and then I would meet her and we would run/hike for two hours-usually ending in the water. It was completely epic and gloriously exhausting. She pushed me mentally and physically every single day and reminded me I AM STRONG and my mind set makes ALL the difference. But we could also just sit together in silence and enjoy a sunset or watch the waves and be completely at peace. There isn’t a lot of people that can get me to travel across the country with them at the drop of a hat (because I have SO many fears about flying and pain 🙄) but this woman is one of them. And I would do it again any day any time. Not to mention I love traveling with someone who LOVES FOOD AS MUCH AS ME. Even when the waitress asks us if “we are sure we want to order that much food.” UM YES MA’AM. WE LIKE FOOD OVER HERE. - Cannot thank you enough Meghan for the trip of a lifetime. And while most people thought we were partners the whole time 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ you truly are my soul sister. You entered my life in one of the darkest seasons and you have been such a constant source of LIGHT ever since. I feel like this trip was me finally coming out of the dark and to do it with you by my side was completely and utterly GOD-ORDAINED. ❤️ Also TIME TO MOVE TO THE PACIFIC COAST AM I RIGHT?! - Also SEA TURTLES FOR LIFE. They followed me EVERYWHERE and I freaked out EVERY TIME I saw one. Thank you JESUS for all the above. I feel so insanely blessed and grateful and WOW. HAWAII. YES. PLEASE.
Y’ALL I AM HOOKED. I CANNOT GET OVER THAT 1. I GOT UP MY FIRST TIME SURFING AND 2. IT WAS THE MOST EUPHORIC EXPERIENCE EVER. - These photos are from two days of lessons and WOW. I literally want to move to Hawaii just so I can do this every dang day. I was pretty nervous about it because with 2 back surgeries I did NOT know if this was a wise decision. Nor did my instructor LOL. But I DID THE DANG THING. And it felt like all of my working out, physical therapy, pilates, yoga, and boxing this past year led up to this moment-to be able to get up and surf. Not once did I think about pain or my back and it was unreal. Our instructor was the COOLEST guy ever-so kind and hilarious and truly it was my most favorite thing I have ever done in my life thus far. It reminded me of who I was before pain-athletic, adventurous and fearless. And this whole TRIP has just been SO DANG HEALING to my soul in reminding me that PAIN DOESNT HAVE THE FINAL SAY. - Brock sent me out the first time and all of a sudden-it just clicked and I was UP AND SURFING AND FREAKING OUT. Not to mention right before I went a sea turtle came RIGHT up next to me and I got to pet it and it just chilled under my board. 😍 - WOW WOW WOW. Hey guys?! I AM MOVING TO HAWAII. I cant get over how euphoric the feeling is when you get up.... and it takes patience, breathing, and focus to get to that place... the moment you look down is the moment you fall. You have to keep your eyes UP and on your target. Not to mention you fall a lot but you just get back on and paddle back out and try again...pretty much like life am I right? - And YES. I 100% took out that tiny girl and I felt TERRIBLE even though my face shows otherwise. I was headed STRAIGHT towards her and had no idea how to turn at that point. 🙈 And apparently she didn’t want to surf anyone more after that. WHOOPS. - Thank you Brock and the surfing crew for making this a TRIP OF A LIFETIME. And for letting me come back again. 🤗 I WILL BE BACK.
HAWAII PART 1: RESORT LIFE. - The last three days were packed full of morning runs, hikes, rock climbing, sea turtle spotting, ocean swimming, pool side laying, Mai-Tai drinking, sunset watching and wedding attending. I literally don’t even have words for how insanely healing this entire trip has been. AND IT’S NOT EVEN OVER YET. - I told @meghanguilfoil that coming to Hawaii was a huge step for me in facing my fear of long travel post second surgery. I almost said no to the trip because I was scared of long plane rides, detox side effects and pain. But then I realized THIS IS WHAT DETOX IS ALL ABOUT. Creating a life in which you WANT to be sober for. One where you say YES to once in a lifetime trip versus letting fear and pain be in the driver’s seat. I know it sounds dumb that it seems like such a “rough decisioin to go to Hawaii” but when you deal with a bladder that sometime shuts down at the worst times, constant nausea and pain, UTI’S, anxiety and depression-saying YES to the unknown can be terrifying. - But I DID IT. Sure I had some bumps in the road and cried a few times on the plane over from anxiety and pain... but what matters is I DID THE DANG THING. I showed up to life and let me just tell you... When we show up and open our eyes-GOD blows us away. - He gives you tiny gifts like swimming next to a sea turtle or sitting next to a couple who the husband is a quadriplegic on the plane ride and helped calm my fears of flying or being able to run a few miles with less pain or seeing wildlife in the most unexpected places or deep conversations with random strangers about pain, sex trafficking and Jesus or crying at @annie_chaang’s wedding because the speech’s were so intentional and rich and FULL of love. - To me-this trip felt like God saying: “I see all the hard work you are doing to take your life back from pain and I just want you to know I LOVE YOU SO DANG MUCH AND AM SO PROUD OF YOU.” - And I could write a million words about my hero, @meghanguilfoil, and how she pushes me to work harder, be kinder, think deeper and always be looking for the miracle in life. I couldn’t have asked for a better travel buddy. Thank you for the trip of a lifetime.

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Finding beauty in pain, through creating art, in pursuit of redemption. 

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